IHOP

Man, I didn’t even know IHOP still had a pulse. It’s been about 18 years since I set foot in one, and somehow it felt both exactly the same and slightly weirder. I went with a few friends and a small army of kids, because nothing says “quiet, peaceful meal” like a chorus of under-12 chaos. The menu? Massive. Truly a “something for everyone” situation, which is how my picky son ended up with chicken fingers—one of the sacred six foods he will actually eat. I ordered protein pancakes and an omelet, and both were pretty solid. I even appreciated that they had a protein pancake option—didn’t see that coming. My friends got the “gluten friendly” pancakes, which they swore were suspiciously delicious… the kind of good that makes you start side-eyeing the kitchen and Googling the difference between gluten friendly and gluten free. Cold brew coffee, however, was a crime against beans. Service was friendly enough but sluggish, and “attentive” is not a word I’d throw around here. Portions were cartoonishly huge, so you won’t leave hungry. Atmosphere was bland chain-restaurant beige, but we were the ones making most of the noise, so maybe we’re the reason it wasn’t relaxing. All in all? Not bad for a nostalgia trip, but still not somewhere I’m rushing back to unless the craving for questionable cold brew hits—which, let’s be honest, it won’t.

I loved the gluten-free pancakes!!!