The Sheppey

An Expensive Way to Ruin Your Evening If you’re looking for overpriced food, glacial service, a menu designed by someone who’s just discovered oat milk, and a manager with all the charm of a parking warden, this is the place for you. We booked a table for three (plus three small, well-behaved dogs) a week in advance. Despite giving them a heads-up about the dogs, we were thoughtfully crammed next to a large, noisy party in the busiest corner of the pub, like being seated in the mosh pit of a Coldplay concert. Then began the Great Wait: 40 minutes of being spectacularly ignored, watching other tables — who arrived long after us — enjoy drinks, starters, and main courses before anyone even glanced in our direction. I’ve seen glaciers move faster. The menu? Sparse and uninspiring, like they hired a “Head of Creativity” from a tofu conference. It leans heavily on vegan and gluten-free options, which is fine if the food is good, but not when you’re being charged artisan prices for supermarket-standard fare. I ordered the chicken burger, allegedly marinated in gochujang. Now, I’m not saying they lied, but if there was any gochujang involved, it must have been whispered to the chicken from across the kitchen. The burger was basically fine.. think Wetherspoons on a good day, but at £20, you’d expect a little more than “vaguely edible.” All of this could have been forgiven — overpriced, underwhelming food is practically a national tradition — but the real lowlight was the manager. Rude, grumpy, and radiating the energy of a man who peaked around 2003. After one of our dogs (who had been quietly snoozing under the table) barked when a waitress nearly stepped on him, the manager stormed over to deliver a stern warning: “One more bark and you’re out.” Good to know they take noise so seriously, if only the same policy applied to their karaoke-sized party next door. In hindsight, we should have left right then, sparing ourselves the disappointing food and a final bill that felt like it should have come with a ski mask and a note saying, “Hand over the cash.” In summary: this pub is trading entirely on fond memories and pre-pandemic TripAdvisor reviews. Avoid it unless you particularly enjoy being overcharged, underfed, and scolded like a naughty child for existing.

Great burger, menu also had a variety of gluten free options. Service great.