WHO WROTE THOSE GLOWING REVIEWS?? It’s rare for me to leave a restaurant feeling conned, but last night was one of those nights. Positives: We had a parking place right out front, which was great for the person with mobility issues. The tablecloths were clean. My bowl of pasta and chicken had a decent flavor. Negatives: $150 for two people - absurd.That decent flavor cost me $35. The prices are nothing less than exorbitant for what you get. The waiter was simultaneously pushy and absent - can I get a bottle of wine for the table? (The cheapest bottle was $90.) How about those appetizers? (Ugh, ok, if it will make my glass of wine come faster.) 10 minutes for a salt shaker. We struggled to figure out the chaotic multi-section menu, about which our waiter helpfully responded “I’ve already told you what I recommend so you can just order that.” And please, I beg you - if you’re going to extort me, stop calling us “guys”. Two “specials” on their own page, one of which was a $75 twisty slab of steak with a plop of greens next to it. Caprese salad: A handful of basil leaves on a plate with 6 grape tomato halves and an ugly hunk of burrata cheese (which was warm on the outside, refrigerator cold in the middle). Pear appetizer: Same basil leaves, pears in hot milk, something stuck on the bottom of the cute little cast iron pan. Can we have some bread? Oh, sure - and returns 10 minutes later with a seasoned pizza crust - I suppose it WAS cooked in the wood-fired oven, though. Red sauce tastes like nobody tasted it before they served it. Pizza options (which the waiter will tell you is not meal-sized, and by the way, they have a gluten free crust but it’s not good so don’t order that) so weird as to be downright unappetizing. Just. Awful.