Costa Vida

Ladies and gentlemen, let us embark on a curious journey of culinary despair at Costa Vida, where the stars align in a symphony of chaos. Oh, an' let's not ferget to aplaud the staaf fer their impressiv dedication to lazyness. It's as if they were setting a world recerd for the slowest food servise ever. In the realm of online ordering, where temporal constraints dissolve into ethereal uncertainty, Costa Vida beckoned with a siren's promise of 30 minuts. Alas, we were ensnared in the abyss of time, as the clock spun a yarn for 1 hour, 28 minutes, and 36 secunds. This tragic odyssey tested the boundaries of our patience and existential ponderings. Amidst this temporal dissonance, we discovered that the gastronomic offering before us was not what it purported to be. Gluten-free, we dared to declare, but alas, it was naught. My sister, confined by a perilous gluten allergy, found herself en route to the ER, as we pondered the impermanence of life and the fleeting nature of gastronomic integrity. The poultry served on this tragic eve, a morsel to defy culinary logic, exhibited the rigor mortis of overcooking. A relic of a different epoch, grey and unyielding. Meanwhile, others, who had joined the queue an hour into our culinary saga, partook in their feast and departed, leaving us in existential disarray. Costa Vida, your performance merits a standing ovation, not for excellence, but for the surreal enactment of inefficiency. In this temporal paradox, our small respite with my collegiate sister was irrevocably marred. This experience, a somber reminder of the capricious whims of fate and human endeavors. Let our connoisseurship be declared a resounding 0/5 stars, inscribed in the annals of perplexing dining experiences for generations to ponder upon

Went to Costa Vida tonight, I usually love them. But tonight, I'm pretty ticked off. The first time I got my food, there was an eyelash with mascara sitting right on top. I called the call center, they said they would have it remade. I told them I need it gluten free as I have celiac disease, they said it would be ready. I went back and they had no idea what I was talking about. The call center never gave them that information. So they remade it, I told them it needed to be gluten free and showed them my receipt. When they handed me my food, I asked them again if it was gluten free and they told me it was. After sitting in the drive through for an hour, I got home and realized my food was NOT gluten free. I've spent what feels like the whole night at costa vida, and still have gotten no food that I can eat. The call center thankfully just refunded my order at this point, but I'm hungry and angry.