Westside Bowl

The first time I visited this place, a stand-in bassist for a Scandi metal band stuck gum on my forehead in the middle of the set. He came back a riff later and slurped it back off; a process more involved than you’d think and much longer than I’d hoped. It was disgusting but worth the story, and from that moment I knew this place was going to be legendary. Westside Bowl has somehow eked out a place as a miniature Mecca of metal in the Midwest — seemingly every new or up-and-coming band my group has wanted to see in the last year has had a show here in the wilds outside of Cleveland. Unassuming from the outside, this venue has two levels and possibly two stages, though I’ve still only seen performances at the one in the basement. Inside it’s decorated in a mix of late 20th century Americana, band merch and typical bar fare, the hallmark of the lower level being their impressive collection of tees from all the groups who’ve graced their stage. They draw a great crowd and have one of the best happy hours I’ve seen this decade: 4-8pm every weekday with $1 off cans (making the usual $2 PBRs & Gennys just $1), $2 draft 'Gansetts, $1 hotdogs, and $2 pizza by the slice (among other specials).

The pizzas sell as fast as they can come out and taste as good as handmade (they very well may be). The meat-eaters in my party commended the hotdogs and chicken wings, and I had no problem finding plenty to eat as someone who doesn’t eat anything that walks for flies. Everything was delicious, though I wish more came in an order given the prices the appetizers are sold for. There are even vegan and gluten-free options for those who need them. Our most recent visit ended with us upstairs as the final songs of the last act (who we only left because we’d just seen them recently) vibrated up to us through the floorboards. We’d all had a bit too much and were giggling and making jokes and not worrying about the bill being too high or rushing to beat the crowd out of the parking lot. That’s a feeling you can’t get at many places anymore. Somehow we also got roped into playing bingo — I won a mug, but Plan B was another tempting option. I love the implied paradox of someone being irresponsible enough to go home and hit it raw after a rousing, rowdy round of BINGO (of all things), yet having the foresight to choose the morning after pill as their night’s prize. Wild. If I lived closer I’d be here all the time, but I guess I’ll have to settle for retreading the 2.5 hour trek from my home in Columbus from time to time. It’s well worth the trip and I would argue the same is true for you if you live in a similar vicinity. Oh yeah, you can probably bowl here too, though I’ve yet to witness it actually happening. The posted pricing ($10 for unlimited) is pretty good though!